Charity Battle Hall of Champions
Herp Gang
CB I, II, & VII Winner
Winners of the first two Charity Battles, Herp Gang is for anyone interested in herpetology, the study of reptiles and amphibians. While these two animal groups are not closely related, it’s the humans who adore them that share so much in common. Signs of belonging to Herp Gang include, but are not limited to: trekking through the rainy woods at night during a salamander migration, getting stinky snake musk on your hands, failing to find that especially loud unseen calling frog, declaring “I like turtles!” on a regular basis, and involuntarily shouting “Crikey!” at the sight of a crocodilian.
Herp Gang is the ONLY gang to participate in every Charity Battle (for now), and while it hasn’t been as successful in recent years, don’t think that’ll keep them down. Like a hidden Budgett’s frog in murky water, Herp Gang patiently awaits a future victory, ready to strike when the time is right with a victorious “WAEAEAEAAAAWWEEEEEW!”
Trash Mob
CB III Winner
A wise Muppet once said, “Oh, I love trash!” Trash Mob is a truly cosmopolitan gang, whose dumpster-diving lifestyle has made its way across the globe. From the pizza-nabbing rats of the New York City subways to the bin chickens (aka Australian white ibis) of Sydney, from the gulls that prowl New England’s dumps to that one housefly that refuses to leave your kitchen (the door is wide open, buddy!) these creatures, great and small, are true opportunists.
Don’t let their team name fool you - this gang is just as committed to habitat conservation as the rest of them, even if its human members can’t help but find solace in the anxiety of a hissing opossum or hope in the perseverance of a seemingly indestructible cockroach.
So whether your life is feeling like a dumpster fire or you embrace your chaotic raccoon energy, there’s no shame in feeling a little trashy while also dreaming of a brighter, cleaner, wilder, greener future.
Corvid Council
CB IV Winner
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Translation: Corvid Council is comprised of crows, ravens, rooks, jackdaws, jays, treepies, choughs, nutcrackers, and (non-Australian) magpies. Members of Corvid Council enjoy shiny things, knick knacks, baubles, doodads, trinkets, curios, tchotchkes, and things that are shiny.
Wild Green Unqualified Team
CB V Winner
This gang is for all those with a passion for wildlife yet no super sciencey credentials. If you think sharkskin feels like olives, you qualify! If you think a mountain chicken is a featherless biped, you qualify! If you can’t remember the genus names for the common octopus, bison, gorilla, iguana, or sequoia, you qualify! If you think that shrimps is bugs, you qualify! If you think El Chupacabra is an especially friendly rodent of unusual size that looks like a giant guinea pig, you qualify! If you’re feeling unqualified in any way, then you immediately qualify (this phenomenon is known as the Toco’s Unqualification Paradox)! If you have a PhD in botany but cannot ID a single mushroom species, you qualify! If you have a PhD in mycology but cannot ID a single plant species, you qualify!
Members of Wild Green Unqualified team enjoy long walks on the beach, which are only long because they have to stop and ask a more qualified person the names of all the seashells and seaweed.
Animalia Marginalia
CB VI Winner
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Hark!
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Animalia Marginalia rifeth from the cornerf of handwritten bookf of yore! Last year’f blowout Charity Battle champion hearkenf back to medieval Europe, when monkf would doodle animalf in the marginf of bookf they were transcribing.
Can you read text written with a long “f”? Do you dream of being a knight on fnailback, fighting a giant rabbit with a fword? Have you feen Henry, the depreffed sloth, in your nightmaref? Do you think birdf lookf kind of suspiciouf? Then Animalia Marginalia might be the champion gang for you!